A Poem for the Man Who Asked Me: Where Are Your Motherhood Poems?
He didn’t have the predictable inquiries
do I write in Spanish more than English
do I italicize the Spanish words
or include a translation glossary at the back of the book
with an accusatory tone like a private investigator
out to solve the case of the missing poems
as if I purposely erased my kids’ existence and memories
in some poetic version of witness protection
should I write more about the irony of never wanting to be a mother in the first place
while other girls talked about having babies and a husband after college
I spoke about wanting 80-hour work weeks
burying myself in depositions
should I write more about the abortion I had at 22
find the appropriate simile for the feel of the vacuum in my cervix
how I made my future husband witness and hold my hand
while I sobbed on the exam table legs wide open
reminding me how I got there in the first place
I think about the women who cannot have children
the price tag of IVF the bureaucracy of adoption
the women who still have to prove to their tías mothers
sisters other women that their worth isn’t in the uterus
because my body’s sole purpose
is to be a vessel of life and not sexual satisfaction
never contemplating the perfect metaphor for the best orgasm I ever had
I should be careful of slut shaming myself in my sonnets
when I say fucking versus making love
pussy versus vagina
dick versus manhood
so where are the mother poems in question
they are embedded here
in the pores and cells
of this poem that cannot wait to breathe
*
Thirst Trapping: A Love Story
She posts a morning selfie, sipping her coffee in bed
pajamas still on, phone held high at an angle
#selfcare #selflove
He hits heart button
She posts a bathroom selfie
as she gets ready to go out
#squadgoals #saturdaynightfun
He hits heart button,
comments with a fire emoji
She posts a headshot selfie
#nofilter #sansmakeup #lovingme
He hits heart button,
inserts smiley emoji with the words gorgeous
she replies: thanks for the love
She posts a pensive selfie by a bay window
it’s raining, she makes sure the rain is in the background
Caption: what you seek is seeking you
#rumi
He hits heart button
comments: stay dry out there
she replies, a few hours later: U 2 Umbrella emoji
He posts a pic of his brunch plate
#thisishowwedobrunch
She hits the heart button
comments: looks yummy, fork and knife emoji. Is that brioche?
His response: it was, thumbs up emoji
He posts a mirror selfie on his way to work
#workflowgrind #tietuesday
She hits heart button
comments: ooh nice choice of blue
he hearts her comment
It’s Wednesday, he posts a picture of his mother
holding him when he was a toddler
#wcw #therealmvp
She hits heart button,
responds: awww and 3 emojis (the one with hearts for eyes)
he hearts her response
He posts a headshot selfie
Caption: Stuck in traffic. #slowoh5 #rushhoursucks
She responds: it’s almost Friday though. Winky emoji
He slides into her DMs
True, it is almost Friday. Any plans?
(to be continued)
